Sakura's Spaghetti Mishap
by Hyuchiha Ruki
Summary: Sakura can't cook. What kind of housewife can't cook? Now, she has to cook Sasuke's dinner. With the help of Ino, this turns into a total disaster.


I really should be working on 'When You're Gone, Tenten' and 'How to Catch a Girlfriend or Boyfriend in 7 Days' but this idea popped into head after this incident happened to me. Haha! Bad me.

**Anyway, R&R please. This is just a one-shot so I'm praying that it's worth a review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

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"I can't cook, Ino, I can't." Sakura confessed on the phone, a little panicky.

After her honeymoon with Sasuke, normal married life began for her. It was her firstnight as a housewife and she hasn't the faintest idea on how to cook.

"What kind of wife can't cook?" Ino screamed at the other end, "Sakura, it's an hour to seven. Sasuke will be home real soon!"

Sweating profusely, Sakura said, "I need help, damn it! Can you stay on the phone for a while longer to tell me what to do?"

Ino rolled her eyes then looked around in her shop. The Yamanaka was completely silent. Shikamaru wasn't home from his mission yet so Ino shrugged then said, "Hm, why not?"

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief and paced around the Uchiha living room, still frantic, "Okay, now, Sasuke must be expecting me to cook him dinner since… that's my job, right?"

Amused that Sakura was fussing at this time, Ino chuckled, "Yeah. I don't have that problem since Shikamaru's the one who cooks for me…" Ino bragged.

Stopping in her tracks and scowling, Sakura grumbled, "You're not exactly helping, you pig."

Ino ignored Sakura then said, "Why don't you make spaghetti? Sounds simple."

"Sounds simple?" Sakura exclaimed, "I want something that _is _simple, Ino! I'm suffering here! I'm supposed to be a working wife. I'm more fit for that…" She was already moaning in desperation.

"Well," Ino said on the other line, "If you want to make your husband dinner, then, shut up, put me on loud speaker and listen to my instructions."

Annoyed, Sakura pushed the loud speaker activation button and heard Ino's voice order her around, "Now, go look if you've got the right ingredients for spaghetti. I think it's the pasta, some ground meat, some hot dogs and a cans of spaghetti sauce."

Sakura ran to the kitchen and opened all the cupboards and kitchen cabinets in search of the needed materials; "Damn it!" she called out, "No ground meat!"

Ino heard the yell and said, "Hot dogs will do! The ground meat is just for the meat balls, anyway."

Placing the uncooked food on top of the kitchen table, Sakura sighed then asked Ino, "What now?"

Thinking for a while, Ino then replied on the phone, "Grab a pot then fill it up with tap water. Make the water boil, alright?"

Nodding her head, Sakura rushed to fetch a pot then filled it with tap water, "Wait," she said then questioned Ino, "Isn't tap water dirty?"

Sakura heard Ino wham her head on the counter, seeing how naïve Sakura is when it came to cooking. "Whatever!" Ino yelled on the phone, "Then, use drinking water if you want! I don't care! Just do it!"

Grumbling, Sakura spilled the tap water from the pot and opened the fridge. She got a pitcher of ice cold water then poured it into the pot.

"Done, Ino." Sakura said, "I'll just get the water to boil. I won't take long. Give me a second."

Ino listened to the sounds at the other end of the phone. She heard Sakura walk around the kitchen holding the pot of water, splashing the water everywhere. Then, strangely, she could here beeping…

"Why the hell is there beeping, Sakura?" Ino asked, curious.

Sakura walked to the phone and explained, "I'm boiling the water in the microwave. Just hold on a minute…"

"Sakura, you idiot!" Ino shouted, "You boil the water on the stove!"

Taking the words in, Sakura then sprung up, stopped the microwave and placed the pot of water on the stove. Ino heard the clicking of the stove knob a couple of times then listened to Sakura curse the stove.

"What is it now?" Ino asked, almost exasperated. 

Still screaming, Sakura answered, "How do you get the fire to poof up? I turned the stove knob almost five times already! Where's the fire gonna come up, anyway?"

Ino wanted to laugh out loud but she knew Sakura would beat her up if that were the case, "Get a match stick, forehead!" Ino replied.

Sakura managed to argue with her, "But it's an electric stove! Isn't the flame just supposed to come out automatically?"

"Get the match stick, Sakura!" Ino screamed.

Swearing under her breath, Sakura rummaged half her kitchen for a match stick then just came back to tell Ino, "Can I use a lighter instead?"

Smashing her head (again) against the counter, Ino then mumbled, "…Just light the stove… so you can cook the damn spaghetti…"

Sakura looked at the clock. She's wasted too much time.

Ino went on listening to the sounds on the other end then was jolted when she swore she heard Sakura scream, "Damn!"

"What is it now?" Ino asked, a la Shikamaru. Sakura sucked her thumb in pain, "I… burned my thumb…" Sakura admitted, shamefully.

She couldn't contain her laughter anymore, "Oh, Sakura!" Ino yipped, "You should take cooking lessons! It helps… a lot! Haha!"

Sakura went on licking her burnt finger yelling, "Pyro lessons is more like it! The lighter's flame almost burned my thumb off!"

Ino went on, "Well, is the water on the fire yet? Or were you whimpering the whole time?"

Hearing the clang of a pot, Ino could tell that Sakura had it going.

"Now," Ino continued, "Get another pot and pour the spaghetti sauce in along with the hot dogs…"

"_Raw _hot dogs?" Sakura emphasized on the telephone.

Rolling her eyes, Ino replied passively, "Of course not. I guess I forgot to tell you to fry the hot dogs. I take it that you don't know how…"

Sakura then snapped, "Ino! You know how stupid I am when it comes to this!"

"I'm glad that you're not smart in everything…" Ino said, "How ironic it is that I'm the one who's tutoring you this time."

Waiting for Ino's reply, Sakura rolled the uncooked hot dogs round the table until Ino said, "It's easy, Sakura. Look for a non-stick pan then pour some oil in. Heat it for a little while and while you're waiting for that, peel the plastic off the hot dogs. Then, drop them onto the pan."

Sakura barely caught Ino's words as she scoured the kitchen for a pan. When she spotted a scratched up pan, she went to the phone then asked, "Then I put some oil…?"

Plainly, Ino answered, "Duh…"

Sakura unscrewed the case of oil then began pouring globs and globs of oil onto the pan. She just shrugged and then grabbed the hot dogs, tossing them into the heating oil.

"There, I got it, Ino…" Sakura reported as she watched the hot dogs drown in the oil, "I placed the hot dogs in the oil, which is now heating up and… Oh My Freaking Gosh! Ino!"

Alerted, Ino stood from where she sat and shrieked, "What is it, Sakura? Did you burn anything else aside from your thumb?"

"It's the hot dogs!" Sakura answered screaming in a distressed tone, "They're peeling! Eeew! Why is it doing that? Eyagh! It looks like a shedding worm! Is it supposed to do that, Ino? It's so sick!"

Ino knew what was going on, "Did you take off the plastic?" Ino asked.

Sakura didn't answer. Until she asked like an innocent child, "Plastics? Hot dogs have plastics!"

"Man, Sakura, you're a real brainiac when it comes to academics but when it comes to cooking… you're a dunce." Ino commented.

Sakura was about to shout a smart remark at Ino when she heard her cellphone ring. She picked it up from her pocket then greeted the caller at the other end.

"Hello?" Sakura said, hiding the panic in her voice.

"Sakura? It's me, Sasuke." Sasuke said at the other end, "I called to tell you that I'd be home early tonight…"

"HOME EARLY?" Sakura shrieked as she glanced around the kitchen, "What kind of early, Sasuke?"

Sasuke could tell that Sakura was in a panic but he pretended to not notice, "Uh, I'll be home in 30 minutes or less, I guess. See you."

As the hang up tone beeped on her, Sakura called to Ino, who was still on loudspeaker on the landline,

"Sasuke's gonna be home soon!"

Ino's eyes grew then she said in a hurry, "Well, then why aren't you moving? Dump the pasta into the water if it's hot enough!"

Sakura rushed to the pot of water on the stove. Ino didn't hear anything aside from Sakura's footsteps until Sakura reassured, "Nope, it's not yet ready."

"Nah, not yet warm enough." Sakura said. Puzzled, Ino asked, "Huh? How'd you know?"

Sakura then honestly replied, "I dipped my finger in."

Ino almost fell off her seat, "Are you crazy! Did you burn another finger, forehead?"

Sakura was a little confused then answered, "Uh… no. The water is actually still cold. There's still some tiny ice cubes floating round…"

"Ice cubes?" Ino exclaimed, "What the…? Why are there ice cubes?"

Sakura smartly explained, "I used drinking water from the fridge, remember? Got memory loss, Ino you pig?"

'She's hopeless…' Ino thought as she pitied her friend Sakura.

"Put up the heat! You need that water to boil in less than 30 minutes, Sakura!" Ino almost shouted.

Sakura turned the knob one full turn then watched the flame rise. She then went to check on the hot dogs.

"Agh!" Sakura screamed, horrified, as she saw the hot dogs. The meat were still pinkish but the oil was already brown and seemed to solidify.

"What did I do wrong? Ino, the hot dogs are still pink but the oil's practically medium well done!" Sakura asked.

Ino twitched. She didn't think that would happen in Sakura's kitchen… but it did, "How much oil did you put anyway?"

Sakura then looked from the pan of burnt oil then to the phone, "How should I know?" Sakura replied, a little distressed.

"Sakura!" Ino yelped at the phone, "How's the sauce? You can't mess _that _up!"

Resisting the urge to throw the phone two miles away then walk to Ino then strangle her, Sakura went to check on the spaghetti sauce.

"Eeew…" Sakura mumbled, "It still looks like the jelly thing it was fresh from the can."

Ino twitched then asked, "…Sakura, did you even turn the flame under the pot of sauce on?"

Sakura peeped under the pot then said, "Oh! So that's it!"

Ino was getting worried for Sakura. The first time she makes dinner for Sasuke and she doesn't even remember to turn the stove's fire on.

"Sakura?" a voice from behind the front door called. Sakura's eyes grew. She turned to the door then whispered in panic to the phone, "Sasuke's home! He's too damn early!"

"What? He said 30 minutes! I doubt it's even been 5 minutes!" Ino yelled.

Sakura hurriedly ran around the kitchen trying to correct the jiggly sauce, the ice-cold water, and the pink hot dogs drowned in brown oil along with the stiff pasta strands.

She heard the knob being turned. The clicking of the lock echoed through her ears. She was fussing so much on the failed spaghetti components that she didn't notice that the spaghetti sauce was beginning to bubble up once she had the flame on.

The bubbles went on blowing up until the sauce became thick and more liquid-y (A/C: A new word!). Then, one big bubble blew itself up as Sakura went on panicking in the kitchen.

Sasuke made his way into the house then entered the kitchen. "Sakura?" he called. Sakura looked behind her then stammered as she saw Sasuke standing near her, "S-Sasuke! I…"

Then, the biggest sauce bubble burst, leaving trails of sauce all over.

Sasuke blinked, trying to see behind all the sauce on his face. Sakura tried to smile but she couldn't. "I… tried to make dinner, Sasuke…" she explained.

But, he just chuckled, "Spaghetti?" Sakura nodded and kept her gaze on the dirty floor, splattered with water, sauce and some of the hot dogs that fell from the table.

"Why'd you bother? I knew you didn't know how to cook, Sakura…" Sasuke said, amused. 

Sakura didn't shift her eyes from the floor until Sasuke cupped her chin then said, "Sakura, dear, you shouldn't have bothered to. We can always have take-out…"

With that, the couple laughed together in each other's arms. "I'll get someone to clean this up, don't worry. Now, why don't we both change so we can go have dinner out?"

Sakura giggled then said, "You're the best, Sasuke."

Ino heard every word Sasuke said. She hung up the phone as Shikamaru walked into the shop, home from his mission.

"Shika-honey," Ino called, "Can you make me a plate of spaghetti? I'm a little hungry…"

Shikamaru smiled then said, "Hey, why not, Ino?"

Watching Shikamaru enter their kitchen, Ino thought positively, 'Sakura may have a rich husband to save her the hassle of an ordinary housewife's chores, but I have Shikamaru. I'm always luckier than her.'

And with that, Ino stood from her seat and gave Shikamaru a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," Shika said, "What was that for?"

Ino smirked then replied, "For marrying me."

Shikamaru didn't know what came over her, but he was absolutely fine with it.

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**R&R please!**


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